Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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