Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Well you see....

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops