What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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WNBA

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops