Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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Bob Saget

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 sodomized his whole family.;

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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