How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops