Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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What happens when Terran Hansen has sex with a cow? Jesse Z.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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What do you call an arab ?

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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