What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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What is my name? I dont know

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Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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whats black and large -me

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops