When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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What happens if a black person meets a white person? They shake hands

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Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Immigration Laws

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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black chicken. kfc

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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What's worse than a dead baby? A baby.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops