Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops