What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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