how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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Rylan Clark

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Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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