why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

I had a submarine.... once

Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.. That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. The monks reply, “Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, “May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone…The man requests the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,…. ….silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the key to the last door.” The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight…. ….But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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