If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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