What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

knock knock who's there ?

why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

Gus's mom

Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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