Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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One night, a man was bitten by Dracula. The first thing to come out of his mouth was "Joke's on you, I have AIDS!" Then proceeded to laugh hysterically until Dracula snapped his neck

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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the redsox

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops