Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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