a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

Yellow People !!

Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

I am paralyzed from the neck down.

My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

What's better than winning a gold at the paralympic Walking

why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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