How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

Okay.

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

Who is it?

Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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