Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops