Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

chinga tue madre Ryan

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the Chicken cross the road Because he was not happy with his life at a chicken due to the fact take he was going to get eaten by a black man so he hoped that if he crossed the ride and got hit by a car and die he would regenerate into a poisonous frog

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops