What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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pudding

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops