There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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An anti-joke

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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There was a black person running down my street. He was celebrating because he just graduated from Harvard University.

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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