A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

thumb_up thumb_down

Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

thumb_up thumb_down

what's the difference between a crocodile?

thumb_up thumb_down

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

thumb_up thumb_down

If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

thumb_up thumb_down

When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

thumb_up thumb_down

I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

thumb_up thumb_down

Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down

A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

thumb_up thumb_down

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

thumb_up thumb_down

I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

thumb_up thumb_down

Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

thumb_up thumb_down

Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

thumb_up thumb_down

what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops