why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Irish sobriety

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Pickles are powerful

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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