What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

Knock knock Go fuck yourself

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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