- Anti Joke

a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you ABeepSSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! slams door Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries -Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals - The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FUbeepCK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

Robert Mugabe.

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Hey how is your wife and my kids

Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.