a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

What did John name his dog? Doggy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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