Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

Your adopted

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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