What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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I will create more jobs for americans

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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A black man is picking cotton in a southern white mans field. This is because the white man is paying a more than fair wage and the black man is a 3rd generation cotton picker who enjoys taking part in his heritage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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