A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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I have a horse.

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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how many strippers can you fit into a garage? as many as you wanted depending on the size of the garage, but after so many gathered in the same building it is a good probability that some strippers would leave.

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Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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