Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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were you expecting a joke

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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