Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's 9 + 10 19 AB

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call your mom? mom

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +3

eh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worst then being raped tortured and killed? it happening to 500000 puppies DX

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I remember in the 80's it felt like Bill Cosby was being shoved down my throat. He was always on TV with his show and those Jello commercials.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops