A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Wait! hundred billions!

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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