A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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