I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

a chinese man pays the full price

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...