"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

Knock knock. Get out!!

Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

Albino African Americans

yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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