Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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Who is John Galt?

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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What's black and white and red all over? An equality parade with a nearby homicide

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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knock knock!? . . No.

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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