A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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Yo mama is so fat she died

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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