Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

noah is a scrub jungle

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

69

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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