Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i hate non minorities!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Bark I'm a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do when you see someone from the kkk? Accept what you saw and move on with your day

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blind man walked past a fish store. For a second he thought it might be a womens vaginal odor, but then concluded it was most likely a fish store, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I named my son ps2 controller

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops