Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 24

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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Bitch

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops