Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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i just wrote this so hard

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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