What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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Okay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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