A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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Corn Muffins

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops