- Anti Joke

So, same time tomorrow then?

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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