What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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Katy Perry

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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What do the angels say when god sneezes? Chuck bless you

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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