I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

Can u explode on me.......Plz.........no........ok.

why did justin go to maddie parris house to fuck her.....

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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