Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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why did the man drop his razor? he had a seizure.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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