What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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