Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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what happened to the asian who failed his math quiz... his parents killed him

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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The WNBA

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How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops