I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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i love....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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hashtags suck balls

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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can you touch your toes? no

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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How do you know you're on a blind date with a black person? If they agree to eat at KFC in Compton (Wyndellberg)

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops