What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock, Knock! Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you end a sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops