Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Neither have I

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops