Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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belly button

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

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knock knock There's no door

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops