What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut? One walks on the moon and the other has sex with little boys.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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live or die you decide to late time to die

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What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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