Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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I had a lemon. hi.

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there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

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A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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