An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops