Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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