Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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su algato es en fuego

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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brock has small hands for a small job

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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