What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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